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9.09.2013

Life updates!

So...blogging, huh? I'm pretty good at it.

I've missed this place so I felt like coming back for a bit. I don't feel like playing catch up so if you're curious to what's going on in our life, you should give us a call. 

To be honest, blogging isn't what it used to be for me. I still love telling stories and making people laugh (I really hope I've made you laugh), but I just can't put my finger on what makes me not want to update this anymore. 

Last year when our lives were flipped upside down, I didn't feel like being funny anymore. Making light of things felt like I was lying because in real life, I was still hurting and being angry. It's hard to explain without sounding melodramatic. But it's also hard to be funny when you're angry. It tends to come across as bitterness and being bitter can get uncomfortable really fast for people who are reading.

I spent a lot of time over the past year feeling angry and jealous that other people's lives seemed so simple compared to ours. When others complained, I got irrationally annoyed because "at least they still got to...etc". So many times life felt really unfair. Why couldn't my husband get to do those things? Why didn't we deserve to be carefree still? We were surrounded by loving and caring people all throughout the year, but I still felt lonely. Nobody could really understand what we were going through. 

This year, I've learned a lot about faith, marriage, and that I'm really selfish. (But that's an entirely different conversation. Also, my husband is the b dot c as he always says.) 

We made incredible friends who loved us when we needed it most. They supported us and helped us grow in so many ways. We have found so much comfort knowing that God orchestrated it all perfectly. 

This past month was really hard. Everything happened so quickly that it was really hard to process all of the changes and feelings we experienced. The retirement ceremony hit us both like a ton of bricks. We had been saying goodbye for a couple of weeks, but I think the ceremony made it really real. Hello emotional wreck.

August also brought the one year mark of when Taylor was first diagnosed with Type I Diabetes. We were so busy traveling that we both missed the actual day, but I think that helped protect my heart from dwelling and being sad all day. (Again with the drama, I know.) Instead, I was able to look over at Taylor a couple of days later and just think about how thankful I was to still have him by my side.

We were very fortunate that Taylor had some time off to travel between retirement and starting his new job. We got to travel (thanks to my dad's plane and Taylor's new medical certificate!) to College Station, Frost, and Lubbock to see people we love very much.

Now we are here in our new place trying to get our bearings and find a place to live. Just like last summer, we are living in a hotel and I am already used to people making my bed and bringing me fresh towels every day. I must say that it is not a bad way to make a transition. Also, free breakfast every morning. I may or may not have hoarded food so I wouldn't have to make lunch today. It might have been cereal.

Today was Taylor's first day at his new job which means it was also my first day to explore our new town by myself. I made it to the grocery store and spent the majority of my time there wondering where the heck everything was.

I'm hoping to connect quickly with people here, but I'm not really sure how to go about doing it. In the military, there is almost always a common thread between spouses and neighbors. So I am finding that I have serious social anxiety about making friends in the real world. What will we talk about? How will we communicate without using acronyms?

If I've learned anything over the past year, it's that this too shall pass. I may complain about being bored or lonely, but I've got great friends who text me and tell me what I need to do to forget about it. And they were right.

I can't promise that I'll ever post again on this blog, but I can promise that I fully intend to. :)






2 comments:

Unknown said...

I have thought about you many times since you made the announcement on here and prayed for you too. I'm sure the transition to civilian life will have its share of ups and downs.

I hope you continue to blog your adventures through your new city!

Ismail Khan said...

Amazed with this post. Thanks for sharing

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