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2.22.2010

Round and round it goes, where it lands no one knows

I am so lost right now. I am graduating in 81 days and I have no idea where I'm going to move after that. I know that you're thinking, "81 days is a LOT of days!", but not to someone who likes to have everything planned out as far in advance as possible! 

My parents have given me the option of moving back home so that I can work and save money for a couple of years. I like this because it would definitely be nice to be able so save a lot of money by not paying rent and grocery money, but I know that it would never work because for one thing, I've been living on my own for 3 years and it's really hard to go back home even for a vacation and not get back into feeling like I'm in high school again. I can't imagine trying to work and feel like that. 

Then on the other hand I have the option of moving pretty much anywhere to find a job. My only problem with this option is that I won't know anybody and I'll be in an unfamiliar place with a new job. It's like moving to college except there aren't 8,000 other people going through the same thing with you. 

Not only am I nervous about even being able to find a job, but also just what the future holds for me. What if I'm not good at my job? What if I hate it? I wish the road I'm supposed to take would show itself instead of making me go and find it. I know that it won't be easy, I'm not really expecting it to be. I just hope that I don't get to overwhelmed with all of the changes.

Usually when I tell people that I'm graduating a year early, they look at me like I've got snot coming out of my eyes. Then they tell me that I should stay in school as long as possible and enjoy the time I have here before I have to get a real job. Sometimes that hurts my feelings because of how hard I worked in order to graduate early. I also helped my parents out by saving them an entire year of rent and tuition. To me, that's more important than sleeping in a couple of mornings a week and going out late at night. I didn't really have the typical college experience to begin with, so I'm hoping that the transition won't be too hard after graduation.

I don't regret at all graduating a year early, I know it's going to give me some different challenges but I just didn't see a big enough reason to not do it. I'm scared about what the future holds, but I'm also excited to see where my road leads!
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