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4.05.2010

Do I have to title this?

I'm a planner. Having plans makes me relax entirely--at least until I deviate from or forget said plans. That happens more often than completed plans do.

I make plans for EVERYTHING. Sometimes they even help me fall asleep. Weird, I know, but some of my best ideas have hit me just as I was falling asleep. Unfortunately I haven't remembered them upon waking up in the morning. I only remember that they were the best ideas I've ever had.

My plans are like a security blanket to me. I make them when I'm stressed so that I can see on paper that what is stressing me is completely doable. I also make them when I'm stressed because I know that there are just SO MANY things going on in my head at once that I'm going to forget something really important. Not only do I like planning things, but also designing things. Unfortunately I'm a bit of a perfectionist and so I never can get it "just right". I have SO MANY IDEAS but they just never seem to come to fruition like I see them in my head. If only my art skills weren't limited to stick figures.

Speaking of SO MANY things going on at once, I have gone back and read a lot of the things I've written in the past and, oh my good grief. It's like following a rabbit! I jump from one topic to another in a paragraph and even sometimes in a single sentence. I've always prided myself on my writing abilities, but after reading other blogs for some time now, I know that it could use quite a bit of work.

I think what happens is, like I said before, there are just so many things bouncing around in my head at once that I want to get them down before they disappear. And trust me, they do disappear. Quickly. Perhaps that's why all of my english teachers had us make outlines. Sometimes when I'm doing something mindless, like sitting in class or driving, I start thinking about topics I could write about. Not just on my blog, but for fun. (Did I just admit to writing for fun?) I have these FANTASTIC ideas and they just keep coming, but once I actually sit down to write them they are gone, just like that.

Also, whenever I would write something for school, I could never think of anything good as a conclusion. If I had it my way, I would have written at the end of every paper, "And so this is the end of my story. If you want a conclusion, reread everything above." Fortunately, I stuck to what I had been taught, even if it wasn't the greatest conclusion you've ever read.

And so this is the end of my story. If you want a conclusion, reread everything above. (Good thing I'm not getting a grade for this.)


Oh, and here's a picture from Hawaii!

I miss Taylor!

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