Embarrassing randoms

I know a lot of times I try to tell simple stories in a funny way, but lately...I don't even have to try. I just do things that end up being really embarrassing or really funny. Here are a couple of examples that will probably cause you to not be my friend anymore. Seriously, I am not making this stuff up. Sadly, there were usually witnesses to my "events".

***A couple of weeks ago, I was grocery shopping for both my house and Taylor's house. The only thing Taylor really needed was some sour cream so that he could make his famous Blue Cheese Dressing. I even wrote down "Sour Cream" on my grocery list. And then I came home with cream cheese. When Taylor looked in the refrigerator for said sour cream, I proudly pulled out my purchase and it took me a few minutes to understand the blank look on Taylor's face.

***This morning, my dad sent me a text way too early for my brain to process. I had just been dreaming about Taylor trying to get a hold of the cable company and so for some reason, I thought Dad's text was referring to the cable company.

What Dad really said: Hey I never heard back from you yesterday.

What I thought "Taylor" said: Hey I never heard back from Time Warner yesterday.

My response: That's really lame!

***This past weekend, we were in Lubbock visiting Taylor's parents. One morning I went to wake Taylor up and he told me, "I can't...I'm in wing tip". I thought he might still be asleep since this has happened before so I kind of laughed at him and continued talking. He then used his hands to demonstrate what wing tip formation is. I told him to get up a couple more times and then I left him alone. Later that night he was talking to someone else about wing tip formation when he suddenly remembered what he told me that morning. I love replaying Taylor sleep talking stories so of course I jumped at the chance to tell everyone what he said!

***My legs look like I got in a fight with a baseball bat. I don't really know why, but I'm pretty sure that I banged my knees together in my sleep and may or may not have kicked myself in the shins. Otherwise, I can't explain these bruises.

***I love popsicles. Especially the kind that you cut one end off and then eat. I don't know what they are actually called so that's the best description I can offer. Anyways, I love 'em. Yesterday, I was merrily enjoying one when I had to set it down for a couple of seconds. When I picked it back up, I did not pay attention to which end was open and so the entire popsicle spilled out all over me and the kitchen floor. Definitely one of my prouder moments as an adult.

***The other night, Taylor thought it was really funny to squeeze his feet into my flip flops so that I couldn't put them on and drive home. Best joke ever, I tell you. He wouldn't give them up so I decided to play the same game. I put on his tennis shoes and came back in the living room. I have to admit that walking out of the house in shoes twice my size while trying to act annoyed wasn't my most convincing act.

And to sum it all up, here is a picture that pretty much epitomizes mine and Taylor's relationship.

We ended up with some cute pictures, but that's for another post. Which will also include more LBMM stories. Of course.